Perfection is my undoing

Perfection is my undoing

Aiming for perfection has become my undoing! How often have you found yourself thinking ‘once everything is in place then I’ll be ready to enjoy this moment’? Once I have finished the to-do list, sorted the washing, or made the beds! The lists are never-ending I know! Why do we set such high expectations on ourselves before we can really be present in each moment?

Perfect expectations

I had a bit of a moment the other day where I realised something profound. So often I demand that my kids’ behaviour live up to my perfect expectations. This may sound simple, but sometimes we need to hear things at the right moment to trigger change. I had been trying so hard to teach my kids to speak kindly to each other; to respond with patience when they were frustrated. However, I realised the model that they had been watching (me) was more often than not demanding their behaviour was something I was not demonstrating.

Copy cat

We had been going round and round in circles trying to change their behaviours. I then realised the more effective way to teach my kids was to look within and change my own behaviour. I am sure we have all had those moments when we have heard our little ones respond exactly like we did the day before. It is a humbling moment! My mum had a saying; “actions are caught not taught“. The behaviours we model (rather than just request) will be the ones that are learnt by our kids. So, I have been encouraged to put down my expectations, enjoy the moments with my kids and focus more on modelling what I want to see in them.

I hope this is an encouragement to you and not another thing on your to-do list. Have a go at lowering those expectations and enjoy this season of motherhood you are in.

Bec Fleming

Bec is a MOPS Connect leader, a wife, and a mother to 4 children (aged 9,6,4 & 1).

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