A little while ago my Psychologist asked me what I want people to say about me at my funeral. I responded that I want my funeral to be like my Pop’s funeral – packed full of people, not even enough standing room, spilling out of the church doors onto the steps outside – and every person there would tell you that they loved my Pop because he made their day better whenever they saw him.
My Pop loved Jesus and when Jesus says to love one another, my Pop took that to heart in a serious way. I want to be remembered as someone who makes the day better for people – that they would walk away from our interaction feeling better about themselves and able to make someone else’s day a little better too.
I recently turned 40. It was fabulous and NOT just because I got to travel to the UK with my hubby for 3 weeks without kids (though that certainly did help 😉 )
It was fabulous because when I look back at my life I am pleased with who I am, where I have come from and the choices I have made. I have few regrets.
Don’t get me wrong, I have made plenty of mistakes.
Some of those mistakes I can’t fix and that makes me sad. I have said the wrong thing, chosen poorly and failed to take chances when I should have.
But I don’t regret those mistakes because I understand that they are part of the fabric of who I am and I have learnt through them.
Since the moment my Psych asked me to think about my end-game, I am constantly aware of the choices I am making. It has stopped being about whether I chose the right car, if I finished that course I started, or whether I have the guts to sky dive or not. I might choose to do something – or not – but the important thing to me is that I treat the secretary at the car dealership with dignity and respect; that I don’t yell at the call centre staff when I need help sorting out a problem; that I spend more time enjoying my kids than I do yelling at them (notice there is still some yelling :/ ); that I go out of my way to say hello to the person sitting alone; I smile at the mum with the screaming toddler with the look that tells her, “It’s ok. This job is hard”. And I NEVER regret those choices!
When I die, I don’t want my funeral to be a list of achievements. I want my eulogy to be a list of names of the people who I got to love, care for, nurture and encourage.
Do you have a plan? A goal? An end-game? What is it that you want people to say about you when you’re gone?
Decide who you want to be… and be that person.
That’s how to live with no regrets.