Hi everyone. I have a question for you.
Lets say there is a woman who, in the past, has been forced from her home by her husband, and separated from her children, (which then culminates in the ending of her marriage)…. now fast forward 10 years or so, she is remarried and her wonderful new husband decides to surprise her by buying her a ticket to go away by herself, without her children, to have a break. What do you think is likely to happen? How will this go? How is she likely to feel about this?
Let me answer that for you.
She may actually not be ok with this. It may be a huge trigger for her of her past trauma. Of being removed from her home, and separated from her children without warning or choice. It may actually rip open that old injury and leave her feeling exposed, bare, and incredibly vulnerable.
I’ve recently taken up sewing and found myself humming a song the other day while pinning some fabric together for a bag I was making. The song was “just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down” from Mary Poppins.
The weird thing is, in my head I sang the words:
“Just a spoonful of sugar makes the memories go down”.
“Makes the whaaat go down?!” I thought to myself.
I immediately stopped sewing and started writing as I knew this was something you and I needed to discuss.
Stored up in our bodies, in our emotions. Some of them wonderful, some not so much.
If I was writing a book of advice for my kids and grandkids (which I’m planning on having) I would say this: (Excuse me while I put my old sage voice on.)
From time to time when things arise – which they will…memories will surface, and with them emotions, some good, some not so good.
You may be tempted to reach for food to comfort you in times of sadness, grief, loss, or anger. You may be tempted to reach for many things in fact, from busyness, to prescription drugs, to alcohol and more.
Those things won’t solve it in the end. As a wise man once said, ‘To take tablets for the body is one thing, to take them for the soul is quite another’.
Jen Wise on her blog restorationliving.org says this
“We have hidden wounds, buried so deeply that we can’t see what they’re doing to us, and to those we love. Big or small, past abuse or a cruel trick, we’ve all brought pieces of our past into the present… yet our refusal, intentional or not, to really SEE and FEEL these experiences holds us back.”
(You can read the rest of her post here).
So I just want to encourage you to not run from pain next time it surfaces, but instead to gently uncover it, search for the truth, and disarm the lies so you can run free.
You and me both.