It’s Marriage Week here in Australia from 13 – 19 September. Marriage week is a coalition of the Christian Church and other organisations across Australia who are working together to offer positive resources, to help couples re-affirm the value of and commitment to their marriage.
It is important to keep the relationship with your spouse strong. This is especially so while you have young children. I can remember being so over being touched because I had a very clingy baby with reflux who then became a very clingy toddler. How did I keep that relationship with my husband strong? I think we were both aware of how tired we were and therefore made allowances for each other. We also found ways to spend time together and showed each other that we cared.
Find a way to spend time with your husband
We need to make our husbands a bigger priority than our children. Remember our children will grow up and eventually leave the nest. When that time comes you’ll still want a great relationship with your husband.
Give some time to each other once your children are in bed. Our children always had a set bedtime from a young age so my husband and I could spend time together once they were all in bed. Some of that time might have included washing up together, but we also spent time together relaxing and enjoying each other’s company.
Have date nights
This could involve going out or just at home once the children are in bed. We were fortunate enough to have both sets of grandparents close by, so they would look after our children while we went out together. If you don’t have that an alternative could be babysitting clubs. Some of my friends had no one to look after their children, so they formed a babysitting club. Basically you have your children looked after by someone in the club and the time is banked. Then the time that you used the babysitter for, you then give that time to someone else, by looking after their children.
Perhaps you might like to participate in Virtual Date Night 2020 that Focus on the Family Australia is hosting this Saturday evening, 19th September, to coincide with Marriage Week.
Spending time with and showing affection to your spouse
This can be part of your everyday life. Did you know that going to Bunnings with your husband may be considered a date to them? It is spending time with him! Love can be shown or appreciated in many different ways and most people have a primary way they receive love best. Dr Gary Chapman has shared extensively about the 5 love languages. Here are the 5 love languages with some examples of how to “speak” each love language:
Words of Affirmation
- “Thanks for helping me put the kids to bed”
- A handwritten note expressing how much you appreciate them
- A text with an affirming message
- Sitting on the couch together talking
- Taking a walk
- Going out for dinner
- Not necessarily expensive, but shows you were thinking of them when you bought it
- Gifts “just because” are important and even more so for special occasions such as birthdays
Acts of Service
- Cooking a meal, washing dishes, ironing clothes, mowing the lawn
- If they specifically ask for a certain task, it’s important to do it
- Not just sex but hugs and other forms of touch as well
- A reassuring pat as you walk past them
There are many more ways that you can keep a marriage strong. This post has only touched on a few. When we celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary I wrote an ABC’s of Marriage.
How do you spend time and show appreciation to your husband? Does your husband know what makes you feel special?
Stafford MOPS Kids Coordinator
Jillian has been married to Murray for over 25 years and they have 2 young adult children. She has been blogging at www.feedmyfamilyblog.com for about 7 years. On the blog, she writes about feeding the family in body, mind, heart & soul. Jillian enjoys speaking at women’s groups & conferences about parenting and passing on faith to our children. This post is based on part of a relationship talk Jillian has shared in MOPS groups. She has also recently finished a Graduate Certificate in Children and Families Ministry.