Hands up if you pictured what your life as a homemaker would look like once you got married and started having children…
Keep your hands up if you pictured snuggles on the couch…
A feeling of joy when your child smiled at you…
Hot dinner you prepared from scratch, ready on the table when your husband arrived home from work…
Daily showers, hot coffee and matching socks…
Okay, put your hands down, you look ridiculous.
We all know being a homemaker is nothing like what we imagined.
I see all these hardworking faithful women serving their homes with dignity and a quiet strength. A modern-day Proverbs 31 woman. When I didn’t wake up one morning as a wife who, all of a sudden loved sorting laundry and ironing, it came as a shock.
Now as a mother of two, my set of unrealistic expectations is at an all-time high. It is just so easy to become discontent with who you are. Stuck in a cycle of looking for inspiration on Instagram, then comparing myself to their highlight reel and feeling worse than when I started. Or worse, I throw myself into being the best wife, mother and homemaker I can be and forget who I am all together.
If you’re out there trying to be the best you can be and feeling like you’re not good enough, this is for you. Who you are today, right in this moment, has value.
Being a mother, being a wife and a homemaker. These roles are precious, they are blessings, but they don’t make up who you are as a person. You were perfectly and uniquely formed in God’s image. Made with a purpose, with your own set of gifts and talents. Motherhood is not a one-size-fits-most gig, and if it were, it still wouldn’t fit me 😉
We need to take a step back. Breathe.
Think of the things you enjoy, the things that make you feel confident.
Write them down and make the effort to bring those things into your life.
Now, think of the things you feel you should enjoy but don’t. Those things that make you feel unsettled or irritable. Those things that make you feel like you’re less than you should be, because you’re not great at them or you don’t enjoy them.
Now stop doing them.
This is terrible advice that could make you really happy.
I’m not encouraging you to stop all chores and live in squalor.
But if ironing turns you into an ogre, let them drip dry or hire someone to do it for you.
If washing dishes breeds resentment, get a dishwasher.
If you don’t enjoy cooking, make a simple meal plan. Eat the same 7 dishes each week for a couple of months then change it up. It’s less work when you don’t need to think about it.
If grocery shopping leaves you stressed out and exhausted, shop online.
If playing with playdough makes you feel like your brain cells are dying, organise a play date. The kids can play together, and you can get some much-needed adult conversation.
And if you’re like me and hate baking, even when you really want to love it… go down to Coles and buy some biscuits.
Taking the easy way out on the things that bring you down, doesn’t make you a bad person or a lazy person. It just frees you up to do the tasks you do enjoy.
For me that looks like building a pillow fort, making a card for a loved one, finding new recipes to try for dinner and walking around the block.
Just being a less stressed out version of myself. Which is a worthy aspiration!