Motherhood. I was in no way prepared for it. Not for the amount of love I would feel. Or how being responsible for meeting all the required needs of another human being would, at times, bring out the worst parts of me. I am conscious of the picture I present to the little one that follows me.
I entered into motherhood not knowing it would teach me, in depth, about God’s long-suffering patience with us, His children. That it would be a constant reminder of His grace.
My days as a stay at home mum are filled with hard work and excitement. Filled with reading books, reciting nursery rhymes, teaching a child who is thirsty for knowledge while constantly trying to find the answer to the question I hear a million (OK I am exaggerating here, but you know what I mean) times a day… “Why?”.
At the end of most days, I am exhausted, and there are still a million things I could make myself busy with. It’s easy to want to clock off at 7pm and put in a request for longer lunch breaks or holidays. But this isn’t just a job, this is my life. This is how I choose to spend my days now, preparing for what is my future and, more importantly, their future.
I found this beautiful poem that is both sobering and encouraging:
The Little One That Follows Me
A careful woman, I ought to be;
a little one follows me.
I do not dare to go astray,
for fear they’ll go, the self-same way.
I cannot once escape their eyes,
whatever they see me do, they’ll try.
Like me, they say, they’re going to be,
that little one that follows me.
They think that I am good and fine;
believe in every work of mine.
The bad in me they must not see;
my life to them, must, an example be.
I must remember, as I go,
through summer’s sun and winter’s snow,
I’m building for the years to be,
for that little one that follows me.