The One Thing I Wish for Mums

14 May 2017

I know quite a few mums.

One, in particular, I love with all my heart. She’s known me for precisely all of my life.

My wife is mum to our two children.

My mother in law, and my sisters in law, are all mums. My cousin has just become a mum for the first time, just a few months ago.

We have friends who are mums.

I work with mums.

I see mums at school.

There are mums everywhere.

But here’s just one thing I’ve noticed about almost every one of those mums I’ve had the chance to get to know. And it makes me sad.

All of those mums feel too much mummy guilt.

This Mother’s Day — on behalf of people who are not mums — may I say: please stop feeling that guilt.

Because, even if you think you’ve been a bad mum, a terrible mum, even a horrible mum, I know you haven’t been. Not by a long shot.

Because the very fact you feel guilty about whatever it is you’ve thought, or done, or not done, shows just how very kind and decent, you really are.

And here’s another thing. I know how I look at my own mum, even to this day. I know what I see when my children look at their mum. It’s exactly the same way your children see you.

Even on your worst day, at your lowest moment, when you are so angry you think things you’d never actually do; even in those very moments, you have one of the world’s most beautiful, and deepest, God-given connections with your kids.

If you need one final reason to be convinced, please remember this. Your kids were entrusted to you. They were not given a choice in the matter. Not consulted at all. And, by the way, neither were you.

So ask them this: If they actually had a choice, would they really want another mum?

We all know the answer. It will be a resounding ‘no’.

Not because they have a mum who is perfect. But because they have the perfect mum for them.

Happy Mothers’ Day.

 

Jeff Miller

Husband. Father. CEO.

 

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