As the Mentor of a MOPS group I am privileged to regularly interact with young mums, (though I can no longer kid myself that I am one of them!) The mums I get to know come in a beautiful plethora of shapes and sizes and an exciting array of personality types. There are the bubbly mums whose recount of their children’s wayward escapades become comedic sagas, shy mums who flower to reveal a dry humour and a fast wit, ideas mums who can’t wait for the next steering team meeting, and laid back mums whose composure barely ruffles while their toddler throws a tantrum and their baby spits up on their shoulder as they walk into the MOPS room.
As a Mentor I am also privileged to have the opportunity to read many wonderful books. I have discovered ideas for creating fantastic family memories, gained insights into children’s needs, and learned steps for restoring romance in a marriage.
BUT HERE IS MY CONFESSION…..while I truly love these two aspects of Mentoring, there have been moments, when these very same experiences have also triggered feelings of sadness and regret. “Wow!” I think as that bubbly mum shares what she did with her family on the weekend, “I wish I had been more fun for my kids.” “Amazing,” I think as the laid back mum talks about leaving her messy house for a day of camping in the back yard, “I wish I hadn’t been such a neat freak.” “Cool,” I think as I read the chapter on whisking your husband away for a romantic weekend, “I wish I had not been so budget conscious.”
AND THEN….I read the MOMOLGY chapter on Core. What liberation!
Shelley Radic explains that a better understanding of our temperament and personality type helps us to “accept who we are, the choices we make and the ways we react.” Furthermore, “Knowing our temperament allows us to identify and work within areas of strengths and identify and reduce the impact of weaknesses.” Relating to this first statement Shelley shares two truths that have shaped her mothering:
- I am wonderfully made
- I have been specifically designed to match what my child needs in a mum.
What great reminders. Let them sink into your Core.
Mothering is not a comparison game. God blesses your family through the wonderful YOU he created you to be. Furthermore, while you will have strengths and areas of weakness in your Core, be encouraged, our God is a transforming God: Philippians 1: 6 “Be confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.” This does not mean he intends to change you into a bubbly mum if you are a shy mum; it means he intends to transform you into the YOU he intended you to be; for you to become “YOU-IER”.
Be encouraged, “Out of your specifically designed core, you have the ability to uniquely shape your child, your community, and the world.”
MOPS Australia Board